come as you are :)

I decide to re-read Dear John today, while having my white coffee on my couch alone. It's a great novel don't you think so?  Anyway, just wanted to write a few things without any pictures. Maybe because I'm bit free. Assignments done, project's papers almost done and my coming project (with classmate) almost done. 

Well today, I realized something... You know, dulu when people said " you have nothing to lose when you do/did good things to people, even if they didn't responds you in a positive ways" I always have this kind of disagreement  in my heart. For me, why should I bother of doing good to people who treat me macam sampah kan? But, when I understand that, by doing bad things in your mind, heart and your thoughts they will only make you feel not good. You started to hate, to talk bad about other people and even to the extent of doing something bad like, making other's life miserable, perhaps? 

Then only , I learn to ignore, turn-my-head-away and just don't give a damn at all when people badmouthing about me, do bad things to me, and whatever :) Because, I can see it clearly.. people who have bad intentions won't go anyway. They will end up proving their keburukan while trying to tell others about the person he/she hates.  I have had enough with people yang asyik cakap this and that about my life, my family, my studies and even my boyfriend...like seriously. Dulu, masa first time kena dengan orang yang busuk hati ni, I feel sooooo damn sad ! I feel like dying, yeah because she was one of my closest friend back that time. But, syukur Alhamdulillah.. Kamil was there and never stop telling me everything (not the things i want to hear, but the things i should know !) and it made me realize of why should I respond to their bad intentions with my own versions of bad intentions jugak kan? I will feel sinful when I did bad things, aren't I?  Beside, my parents ajaran pun tak pernah suruh my siblings and I buat jahat kan? So, when people I love told me this why shouldn't i follow kan? Daripada I sibuk sakitkan hati I sendiri layan karenah orang yang tak pernah puas hati ni lagi penat kan?

However, when I rebound and tak layan all the things.. I started realized a veryyy positive impacts (to myself especially) I feel happier and more relax :P I mean, you can talk whatever you don't like about me behind my back and exaggerating stories about me just gooo aheaddd !! Because, 

Firstly, my back is not my voicemail so I cannot receive anything. Can you at least show your balls and say it to my face? 

Secondly, I know the only reason why you always talking about me because, you can't stop dreaming living my awesome life, dontchu? 

Thirdly, you will only trying to bring me down, because I am 1000% suree I am above youuu :) 

And, the rest you can list as you pleased. Oh ya, besideee I am soo glad that even though you, and you and you are trying to do soo much to make my life miserable.. you're just failed you know? Have you enter lecture hall and more than 5 persons keeping a place for you to sit next to them? While in fact, you didn't asked them in the first place to do so? And then, have you ever feel the moment when you don't have to explain yourself to your friends and she just get you are not wrong at all? Have you had the experience of having bestfriends who stay by your side through your ups and downs and still comfort you for everything you had? Have you had the boyfriend who loves you unconditionally and be there for you when people did soo much bad things for you? I am proudly say it now , that I am having this kind of situations now and then. 

Yeah, I am very happy currently. Even if I don't live luxuriously and whatnot (s) but I am happy :) 

and i know I am not losing anything.